Considerations for Helpers and Healers

by Dr. James Strohl

June 4, 2015

 

When attempting to help another person, how much we know is less important than how much we care. Moreover, we are infinitely more helpful when our caring for another conveys a belief in the other’s ability to heal and prosper by bringing their mind, heart, body, and spirit into alignment and harmony with their desires.

Genuine caring is of paramount importance in a healing relationship. Sincere, congruent expressions of caring reduce resistance and increase faith in the natural healing process. It is of utmost importance that healers and therapists believe in their client’s ability to become healthy and happy, whether or not the client has this belief. When attempting to guide clients in positive directions it is imperative to direct their attention toward positive thoughts, beliefs, and expectations. This is most readily accomplished when healers themselves have positive thoughts about their client as a person, as well as positive expectations for their journey toward health and happiness.

Healers and helpers also want to be careful not to overly invest in people who are not ready to change. Almost all people want to feel better but not all people seeking assistance want to change. Sometimes when people are asking for help they are not motivated to do what it takes to change. Ideally, we want to care about all people and empower them to change while not taking responsibility for changing them. This can seem like a fine line to walk. With experience and conscious effort this dynamic becomes clearer and easier to negotiate.

Before attempting to steer a client in a more positive direction it is important that the client understand that their focus of attention determines the reality they experience which, of course, then influences the feelings they will encounter. We want them to realize that where they place their attention, energy, and focus determines the reality they create. Everything that has happened, is happening, and will happen is a result of what is focused on both inside and outside of themselves. Therefore, it is very important to be aware of attitudes, beliefs, and expectations, since they are the primary elements that determine the realities a person experiences.

Positive change is difficult when we continually focus on avoiding, challenging, criticizing, reconfiguring, and complaining about negativity and pain. Focusing attention on negativity and pain keeps us attached to these qualities and prevents us from allowing positive, pleasurable experiences to enter our perceptual field. There is no space available for positive elements of experience if our perceptual space is congested with negative objects of perception.

When trying to help someone it is important to know where that person is directing their attention and energy so that time is not wasted attempting to accomplish the impossible. It is relatively impossible to help someone create positive changes when they are obsessing on what they don’t want and not attending to what they do want and desire. In fact, many people do not even know what they want . Clearly, it is unlikely that anyone will get what they want when they don’t know what they want.

When focused in positive directions, a person can relax and be easy about change while letting life flow naturally and easily. Changes can happen in a timely, smooth manner. This is a great message to provide to those we are assisting. Change doesn’t have to be hard, time consuming, laborious, or painful. However, change will have these negative qualities if we belief them to be true and expect them to manifest.

Unfortunately, most people believe that creating change means mustering up a great deal of fortitude, grit, and courage to challenge our problems. Science teaches that positive energy flows naturally and spontaneously while negative energy resists movement. We experience positive, emotional and physical feelings when energy is flowing naturally and freely. Negative feelings are experienced when the flow of energy is being resisted and blocked. Therefore, a large amount of energy is only beneficial when it flows freely into and through a positive, dynamic, expanding, creative, non-resistant energy field.

It is a gross misconception to believe that positive results must be accomplished through hard work and extended effort. Successful results are achieved by gently moving into greater alignment and harmony with our desires; not by bracing, bearing down, and pushing against problems and concerns. Negative emotions and sensations do not support the creation of positive experiences. Feeling better creates better feelings. We are best served by incorporating positive attitudes of acceptance, trust, hope, and positive expectation into our change process. These are natural, easy, flowing forms of energy. Introducing these positive elements releases and reduces resistance to change so that spontaneous, creative, dynamic energy can flow more freely. Freely flowing energy feels positive. Restricted and blocked energy flow is experienced as negative. It is not productive to push against resistant, blocked energy.

A major reason we believe that change is difficult and requires hard work is because most of us have a long history of changing the hard way. We typically try to change ourselves and others solely through our actions which is not an efficient method. Where we place our attention and direct our energy determines the reality we create. Change is best facilitated by attending to our internal thoughts, beliefs, and expectations, as well as the external objects that we are perceiving, with the intention to discern whether or not they are helpful and leading to good feelings. Refocusing our attention on more positive, productive thoughts and perceptions is the ideal method for manifesting positive changes. It is important that an emphasis is placed on these fundamental agents of change.

Change can be accessed quickly and easily when we maintain focus on the positive goals we desire. Knowing what we want and expecting to get what we want will help us manifest what we want. Success is not based on the amount of psychological energy and behavioral effort we direct toward problems. Success is contingent on our efficiency at creating solution-oriented plans and then aligning our thoughts and feelings with them before we take action. Our behavior will then be inspired action flowing from a state of alignment and harmony. Focusing our attention on challenging, changing, and eliminating problems provides additional fuel to the problems. Directing our resources toward creative solutions provides energetic fuel to the resolutions.

In brief, change can be simple and easy when we know what we want, align our thoughts and feelings with what we want, and believe it is simple and easy to achieve our goals. It is not helpful to insert thoughts of doubt and beliefs that change is difficult and complex. Giving undue focus, attention, and energy to thoughts associated with negative feelings is never productive.

There are innumerable ways to encourage a person to redirect their thoughts, feelings, and behavior toward productive, positive outcomes. Some of these methods can be very simple and practical. For example, a depressed person can be asked to recall a time they were cheerful, light-hearted, and passionate about something while emotionally engaging the positive feelings associated with that memory as if it were happening now. Or, a depressed person can be behaviorally guided toward more positive experiencing by simply encouraging them take a walk outside while appreciating the warm sun, gentle breeze, fresh air, statuesque trees, and wispy clouds. These activities are likely to constitute legitimate steps in the direction of feeling better.

It is commonly believed that increasing motivational levels enhances the possibility that positive change will occur. In reality, increasing motivation is not always helpful. Depending on the circumstances, increasing motivation levels can be detrimental to the process of positive change and healing.

Increased levels of motivation summons increased amounts of energy. It is not productive to direct increasing amounts of motivating energy against resistant gestalts of energy. A large amount of positive energy is detrimental when it is flowing and pushing against a substantially negative, resistant object or force. High levels of energy pushing against high resistance creates high levels of negative feelings. When motivational energy is pushing against resistant barriers of ambivalence, doubt, criticism, fear, and belief in hard work the result will be pain and suffering.

This negative dilemma is best resolved by removing the resistance to change prior to beefing up motivation. Resistance to change typically manifests as negative expectations fueled by doubt, distrust, and fear. When these forces are high it is helpful to temporarily back off on fueling the forces of intention, motivation, and desire and, instead, to focus on reducing the resistance to change. Problem-solving is most efficient when desire and motivation to find creative solutions are high and resistance is low.

In summary, the principles of alignment and positive change teach us that a problem won’t get resolved easily, and maybe not at all, if we attempt to assert a strong force against the problem. If something is considered a “problem” it already consists of blocked energy that is resisting vibrational flow and movement. Therefore, exerting force against a problem will only fuel the problem by creating more resistance which will encourage the problem to expand and grow.

By introducing positive thoughts and feelings, resistance is released and spontaneous, creative, dynamic energy flows more freely. Positive change occurs when all thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are in alignment with a desire and there is an expectation that the desired goal will be reached. Lastly, health and healing are best accomplished when healers themselves are in alignment with positive change and have faith, hope, and expectations that positive changes will occur for their clients.